Titus 2 from my perspective.

The thoughts in Titus 2:3-5 are very challenging, at least to me.

      These are a few of my thought and beliefs on these verses. 

3. The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
   
4. That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands,to love their children,
   
5. To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
   

I would like to break down these verses and show you how, if you follow these few things, your life as a wife, mother, daughter and a Christian will be sweet.

Verse three starts out, “The aged women likewise...” Aged here isn't necessarily talking about age, as in an older lady. Aged could also mean experienced. Granted with age comes experience. I have more knowledge and wisdom now, in my 30's, than in my 20's. That being said, I have some knowledge that I can share with the younger ladies. I'm a young pastors wife with a few older ladies in our church. I can learn for these ladies because they have lived through things that I haven't. We should be willing to learn from those older than we are, whether that means they are numerically older or just wiser in an area we lack in.

“That they be in behaviour as becometh holiness...”

If you are a mom, I'm sure at one point or another you have told your child to behave. When we traveled as missionaries, before we got out of the car at a church, I would remind my little ones to behave. They understood what I meant. I wanted them to act in a certain manner. Our behavior often defines who we are. Let that sink in. :) How many times have you seen someone, just in passing, at a store and you made an instant judgment on them because of the way they were acting? I know I have. I may not know this person at all, but seeing their actions makes an impression on us. Our behavior matters. Most importantly, our behavior when it comes to spiritual things. Are we lax with our spiritual life? Our children see our behavior and and, like it or not, they will emulate what they see mom do. Make living a holy life the most distinguished quality about you. People around will notice and it will have an impact on them.

“Not false accusers...”

This one speaks for itself. The definition of accuser is:

A person who claims that someone has committed an offense or done something wrong.

Don't go around as a talebearer, or a false accuser. Someone who goes around and tells lies about others, thinking they are making themselves look good.

Proverbs has a lot to say about being a talebearer.

Proverbs 11:3 A Talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.

Proverbs 18:8 The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly.

This is a great example on why gossip and talebearing is bad. You will make yourself look like a fool and those you gossip about will be hurt and it will be very hard to gain that trust back.

The tongue is a little member but extremely hard to control. But, with God's help and the examples we have in the Bible, we can control what we say, and how we say it.

I'm going to use my children as another example. Sometimes kids can be cruel with their words. I tell my children to be careful what they say and also how they say it. Both are very important.

“Not given to much wine...”

My husband recently finished up a two part message about wine, and how it's not biblical. The whole, “Mommy needs to unwind with a glass of wine,” has made alcohol a “normal” part of motherhood. It is sad to see that moms have the “need” to turn to wine when they have had a stressful day. I get it, some days the kids can be a handful. But, that does not excuse the use of wine. Some have the mentality, Well, one glass of wine before bed won't hurt anything. But, if you start with one glass, soon you have an addiction in your life. The Bible has a lot to say about wine.

I will list out a few verses for you to check out on your own.

Ephesians 5:18

Proverbs 20:1

Romans 14:21

Proverbs 31:4

Proverbs 21:17

                             “Teachers of good things;”

This phrase is an interesting one. Teachers of good things. What good things?

Well, we are going to do a little grammar lesson here. If you look at the end of that phrase you will see a semicolon. A semicolon indicates a pause between two main clauses, that is more pronounced than that indicated by a comma. Basically, really stop and think about what's coming up next! I love that the Bible doesn't leave us to guess what we are supposed to teach to others. God gives us clear direction.

“That they may teach the young women to be sober,”

Sober here isn't referring to not being drunk. It's referring to be being level headed, sober-minded, sensible and logical. These are things that every lady should be. We are known to be emotional creatures. Which isn't a bad thing, God gave us emotions. We just need to be taught to control them. Controlling our emotions is a lifelong endeavor. But, it makes it a lot easier if they are taught to control them at a young age. Teach them to think things through, not to just react. Reacting to things around us is a natural thing. How we react is something that we have to work on.

I tell my kids to think before they speak. And to ask themselves, Does this really need to be said at all? I have to remind them almost daily that they don't have to say everything that pops up their mind.

“To love their husbands,”

I have a sign that hangs in our living room that says, “Home, so much of what we learn of love, we learn at home.” This statement is so true. Our kids learn from Mom and Dad and they take what they learn and incorporate it in with their families one day. This means the good and, unfortunately, sometimes the bad.

My kids see how I interact with Marty, and how he interacts with me. They see the hugs and the quick kiss. They've seen us serve one another. They have seen us squabble, though in all honestly, it doesn't happen that often, and never with yelling. We have had our disagreements, but have never yelled at one another. You can have a civil disagreement. :) I try to make sure that my girls see how to be a help meet. I'm far from perfect! I will be the first to admit that! No relationship is perfect, because no one is perfect. But, we can strive to be the best we can in our relationship.

How do we teach our young ladies to love their husbands? The biggest way we can is by example. The phrase, “Actions speak louder than words”, is so true.

“To love their children,”

To me, this is an odd thing to have to teach. But, if you look at our world today you see so many without natural affection. You would think that loving your own children would be come naturally. Sadly, we live in a time where children are unloved and are seen as a burden. It is challenging to raise kids.

Your children should never be told they were a mistake or that you wished they were more like someone else. God knew them before they were born and they were fearfully and wonderfully made. Children are a gift from the Lord, and should be treated as such. When someone gives you a gift you take care of it, cherish it, and protect it.

So, how do we teach them to love their children? Once again, by example! If you, as a parent, don't see life as precious gift, your children will, more than likely, take it even farther. If we look at past generations and see where their parents stood on certain issues, you will find that the next generation has taken it even farther. Abortion is what I'm referring to. How sad it is that we live in a world where a full term baby can be murdered! Teaching our children that life is precious is more important now than ever.

“To be discreet,”

Discreet is defines as: Having or showing discernment or good judgment in conduct and especially in speech.

To be discreet requires humility. It also requires you to stop and think about what you are about to say, and the way it comes out. We are sometimes quick to say what we are thinking without thinking about it.

I think about Esther and the way she handled herself all throughout the book of Esther. She is a great example on how to be discreet. I would challenge you to read the book of Esther and see all the different ways she practiced discretion.

“Chaste”

Chaste: Pure from all unlawful commerce of sexes. Applied to persons before marriage, it signifies pure from all sexual commerce, undefiled; applied to married persons, true to the marriage bed.

Sometimes this subject can awkward to talk about, but it is much needed. In our world today sex is looked at as a casual thing. When in all actuality, it is not. It is to be reserved for those who are married. God intended for the marriage bed to be something honorable, not something that is taken and twisted.

Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honorable in all things, and the bed undeflied: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

I believe this verse makes it crystal clear about God's thoughts on the subject of being chaste.

Teaching your young ladies and young men to save themselves for marriage will save them from a lot of heartache. They have the world telling them that it's no big deal, and everyone does it. The world has a strong pull sometimes on our young people. That's when we, as parents, have to have our children's hearts. To have your child's heart takes work and lots and lots of love.

With intimacy comes a emotional attachment, as God intended. If your young person isn't taught that they should save themselves for marriage then, they are slowly but surely, giving little pieces of their emotions to people they have no intention of marrying. No wonder we have so many young people dealing with so many different emotional issues.

“keepers at home,”

Being a keeper of my home is one of my favorite things to do! I love to clean and keep things tidy. Having your kids do chores will build character and will help them be able to take care of themselves when they leave home. Just as an example, my guys do all their own laundry. They wash, dry and put them away. My guys also have the chore of cleaning their rooms, granted they do have to be reminded. :) They have other chores they do as well.

Chores are good for your kids! You can start chores at an early age. Most two and three year old kids can follow simple directions. So, with a little help, they can do basic things. Like, help make their bed, clean up their own toys. My guys would help set silverware on the table, was it nice and neat, no, but it gave them a chore to do. As they get older the chores should change and be added on to.

Women are to be keepers at home. But that doesn't mean that boys shouldn't learn a few thing along the way also. I believe a young man should be able to fix his own food, do his own laundry, and keep his space clean. There may be a time in his life where he has to do those things, and he needs to learn them. Also he can better help out his future wife as well.

“Good”

Teaching our children good. Is it being good or doing good? I believe it is both. We often focus on our kids being good, but what about doing good? I have told my kids on numerous occasions to be good. What do I mean when I tell them this? I want them to behave in a proper way in every situation. 

Sometimes being good is hard. :) You kids deal with temptation, just like everyone else. No kid is perfect. Sometimes being bad is way more fun than being good. But, that is where having a good character comes in to play.
How about doing good? Doing good is the act. We want our children to do good. We want them to do good to others and for others.

The running theme of this whole thing has been to lead by example. If we, as mothers and fathers aren't leading by example, your kids will likely use that as an excuse. “Well, Mom or Dad didn't do that, why should I?” or “Mom and Dad did do that and I want to as well.” This can apply to both good and bad things.

There is always someone watching your life. You may not see them or know who they are, but I can promise you, someone is watching. So, Mom, Dad do good and be good. :)

“obedient to their own husbands,”

I like this phrase! I know, I know, obedience is sometimes hard. Some may think, “I'm not going to obey a man!” Side note, a man that is a dictator in his home is obeyed out of fear and not love or respect. I believe that the wife should respect her husband, not out of fear but out of love. Okay, I'm done chasing that rabbit. :)

But if you think about this phrase for a moment, it actually takes a huge load off us ladies! Some see obedience as a bad thing when it comes to the husband and wife relationship, but it's actually a beautiful thing. As a Christian and a wife I fall under two main authorities in my life, Christ and my husband. Both of these authorities in my life are loving and kind. I'm told to obey my own husband, not someone elses husband. To me, this is great! What Marty may allow may not be what other men allow, but you know what, that's ok.

Marty and I have a sweet relationship. I have no problem doing what he asks, because I love him and respect him. Another big thing is, that I know he loves and respects me as well. I'm one of those wives who will tell you, “Let me ask my husband first.” Not because I can't think for myself, but because he is an authority in my life and I check with him first. This comes back to the respect aspect of this.

“that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

I find this last part interesting. After giving a big list of things that the aged men and women should teach the younger people he ends it with this phrase. Why?

Blasphemed is defined: speak irreverently about God or 
sacred things.

God made no mistakes when the Bible was being written. So for Him to use such a strong word as blasphemed should make us stop and take notice. We are instructed to teach these things that the word of God be not blasphemed. 

Raising children is hard. 

Proverbs 22:6 comes to mind;

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

It all comes down to the passing down the knowledge of God and his holiness to the younger generation. Seeing our children get saved and serve the Lord. These things that were listed are vital in the spiritual growth of the younger generation. If we do not teach them, they won't know. Marty always says, “You only know what you've been taught.” Teaching and learning these things is a lifelong thing. No one has “arrived.” :)

These are my blessings that I'm responsible to train up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

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